Exam phobia

Anxiety disorder and psychological disturbances are what people call a phobia. With changes in time and changes in me, I’ve realized how much pressure I’d been giving to my brain for something that simple.

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I had this very intense fear, every time the exam routine used to be published. I used to pretend sickness and make excuses to avoid getting scolded by my mom, just in case, if I flunked my exams. Since my early childhood, I always wished that my exams were postponed beyond infinity. My mom never liked the way I acted during my exams. She was actually very worried because she received calls from the school all the time. Being a mother, she never grew tired of hearing that she had to come and pick me up because I was sick. . Now I realize that, all those years, I was sick, but differently. The sickness was not physical but mental, and it was not actually a disease but nervousness. Every student has this so called fear with exams. But, me, I had a phobia.

From a tiny toddler to a mature master’s level student, everyone has to appear for exams. Not only during school days, but also during application for jobs, one always has to go through many exams. I always tried to do my best in whatever exams I’ve come across. Sometimes I succeeded and sometimes I failed. But that was the wheel of life, a concept that took me quite a long time to understand. When I reached the exam center, my hands unusually got sweaty. My voice went low and trembled every time I talked to my friends. The unnecessary tension that I always had was never really needed. I had notes, I had books and I was good at my studies. However, I was never relaxed and I always panicked throughout my exams.When one tries to deal with this wheel of life, the route of escapism never really works. Avoiding a part of the wheel of life is something wrong. One just cannot slip through that duty. I consider myself lucky to have had a mentor in the form of my sister. She helped me a lot. It was one of those therapeutic sessions with my sister when she mentioned, “It’s just an exam, why fear?”

Anxiety disorder and psychological disturbances are what people call a phobia. With changes in time and changes in me, I’ve realized how much pressure I’d been giving to my brain for something that simple. Now I know that all the while, by pretending to have fallen sick, by ignoring so much of my ever loving sister’s words, I’d been cheating myself. I now realize that having thought of every exam as something insurmountable, I’d developed this wrong anxiousness that had caused the phobia of exams.

For a fine scholar to have one’s academics ruined out of nothing but paranoia is only saddening to be truthful. There is a fine line between carelessness and confidence. One can avoid the phobia either by falling under or over the line.

source:The Himalayan Times, 24 Feb 2013

2013-02-25 | EducateNepal


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